Queen's Favor
by Yusagi
Summary: Being a maid would be much easier if the cat would just let her do her job. (AU - Instead of joining the RFA via random text, MC is hired on as one of the maids assigned to Jumin Han's penthouse. Nothing else about the setting has changed, the messenger and the RFA still exist, only the MC's position has been altered.)
1. Chapter 1

**Queen's Favor**

_Chapter 1_

The bag of supplies dropped to the ground with a thud and _immediately _she winced.

The best part of landing a job as a 'privately' employed maid at a huge company building were the fancy _rooms_ in it. Technically she was a contractor, but then again she still had a fleet of bosses who ordered her around as much as they were ordered around by their bosses, and it was way more complex than she wanted to think about.

But even though she'd been warned, she totally forgot the penthouse suite had actual _marble floors_. Sure, rich people liked to live extravagantly, but how annoying must it have been to have a floor that scratched and dented so easily?

She'd been warned that damage to the floors would require her to personally fix or pay to have fixed anything she caused. Or she'd be ejected from the best paying job she'd so much as _seen_ lately, much less been interviewed for.

It didn't look like any damage was done, though, so aside from a dirty look and a quick word of warning, her supervisor let it go. This time. Yeah, she needed to pay better attention.

But she'd also walked halfway up the damn building through the staircase until the elevator was actually empty enough for their equipment to fit in. Damn…penthouses and their damn…heights.

Whatever. She'd just have to get used to it now. Even though she was officially employed to keep the whole building clean, there were enough of them employed that they'd made it clear her actual job would pretty much _just _consist of maintaining the penthouse suite.

Shoving something that sounded like a coveted position off on a new hire meant one of a few things. The owner was some kind of super pervert - couldn't be, since they were strictly required to not be in the suite when he was home - a super slob - it didn't appear to be true just looking around from where she stood - or so particular that it would be super easy to get fired for minor offenses.

It was totally the last one. She could sense it.

The long list of assignments and special rules that her supervisor rattled off next to her pretty much confirmed that, too.

Well. She wouldn't be intimidated. If it was easy to fail, then she'd just succeed instead. She'd be the best maid this place had ever had!

She took the time that her supervisor gave instructions to inspect the room from where she stood, identifying points of interest and trouble spots…and also admiring it. She had to suppress the urge to whistle. The whole building was pretty extravagant, but the penthouse was impressive even compared to that. It made her own apartment feel about like a broom closet.

Which wasn't super far off from true, to be fair.

Her supervisor took a step and then suddenly turned around with…unusual urgency. The red hair kept in a high pony tail nearly smacked her in the face, how quickly the woman spun around. "Oh! Crap, this is your first day actually on the job, right?"

"Ah…yeah. I just got done with the training." She'd been trained before and obviously she had experience, but they'd insisted on training her more. Just to make sure she didn't break anything.

The woman glanced around the room briefly and then planted her hands on her hips. "Well it's not in this room, I guess, but there's a cat. Under no circumstances are you to touch it or shoo it or talk to it. Try not to look at it if you can help it."

_What_.

Rich people could be touchy but…seriously? How was she supposed to not even _look _at a cat?

"Is that a joke?"

The woman laughed…but it was not a 'ha ha I have a sense of humor' laugh. No, that was definitely a 'this is the crazy you signed up for applying for a job with rich people' laugh. "…You probably can't help looking at it sometimes. Just don't stare too long. But it stays away from strangers for the most part so, if you see any cat toys or things…just leave them alone unless they're in the middle of the floor and a trip hazard, alright? He's very protective and particular about the cat. The last girl tripped over the cat when a spider spooked her and had to sit through three classes about the proper treatment of cats."

Her supervisor slung the bag of supplies over her shoulder as she walked into another room. "And then she was fired!"

…Well.

At least it was easy to identify what to avoid if she wanted to keep the job.

She glanced down at the paper that had her assignments on it, and wandered to the bedroom.

She managed to stumble back out of the way _just _in time to avoid immediately stepping on the cat like the world's biggest loser protagonist. It sprinted through the open door and jumped onto a nearby cat tree, trailing white fur through the air after it.

…Despite making her job harder simply by existing, the cat was actually pretty. It looked like one of those poster cats she'd seen on cans of cat food before (and this was the heir of some big business or two, right? Maybe the cat actually _was_ one.). It must have thought itself safe sitting in the cat tree (even though she could have just reached out and grabbed it…) because instead of skittering off further like most of the shy cats she met, it just blinked at her.

And meowed.

She tapped her lips in a shushing motion. "You'll cause a scandal if you talk to the help."

And now that her heart wasn't about to leap out of her mouth, she had a room to clean (and a cat not to talk to). She grit her teeth in concern as she stepped into the room. Bedrooms were second only to bathrooms as far as her least favorite rooms to clean were. Sometimes they were worse.

But actually…it didn't look bad at all.

Apparently as uptight as he could be about his cat, it showed in his behavior around his house too. Even though the room was a bit of a mess, it actually looked a bit like most of the mess was caused by the previously trapped cat. Maybe it'd be an easy job after all?

…

…It should have been.

The trouble was, every time she turned around, every time she tossed clothes or something, there that _cat _was. Right in her way, dodging her or her inadvertent attacks with an expression that could have been disdainful.

"…I thought Mary said you kept away from us, huh?"

It meowed at her again.

She huffed. There it stood. In her way. She had a handful of towels, and a big fluffy white cat stood in the middle of the doorway. Could she risk trying to step over her and tripping? She wasn't allowed to shoo it.

Technically she wasn't supposed to hold a staring contest either, but somehow she doubted "The cat trapped me in the room like a prisoner" would be an acceptable excuse for sitting down in the room and skipping work all day until it left.

It finally moved…but toward her.

"Agh–" She took a step backward, tripped over her _own broom_, and crashed to the ground. Backward. Not on the cat. See, she was the _best damn maid–_

The cat pounced onto her chest.

"_Why?!" _It wasn't like she hated cats! She liked them, she'd hang out and pet alley cats until they got bored and wandered off to find food she didn't have. She considered herself a cat whisperer, able to lure the shiest of cats out from under beds to get head pats. So it wasn't like the cat just sensed her antipathy. But she also wasn't trying to lure this cat out! At all!

Why was it determined to get her fired? Was this the true reason no one wanted the job?

The cat licked her nose.

She huffed at it, and its paw bopped her lips. Up close, she could read the little pink collar the cat wore through its white fluff.

"…Elizabeth?" It booped its nose on hers, and then flopped down on her chest like she was _totally _an appropriate cat bed. "Okay, hey. If I promise to give you a bit of attention will you let me do my work?"

The cat batted at the strands of hair that stirred over her shoulder when she spoke.

Well it was worth a try. At this point the situation couldn't get much worse unless she stepped on it. And really, she _could _point out that Elizabeth stepped on _her _first.

The cat's fur was the sort of soft that indicated her baths were probably more extravagant than just soap and water, and as expected, she immediately started to purr, bumping her head up against the reluctant petting hand.

"Okay. You're cute. But if you get me fired we're enemies for life."

The cat nipped at her hand and in an attempt to playfully roll over and attack…fell off to the floor.

Much like a cat, she seized the opportunity to jump to her feet and sprint away from the feline. _HAH! _That'd show her–

She very nearly collided with her supervisor.

"_Geez!"_ The woman stumbled back a step, expression turning from surprise to annoyance. "Are you just messing around? We've only got a two hours left before we've gotta be out of here!"

"Wha–no. I was just getting away from the cat!"

The woman gave her an unfairly skeptical look, then looked up and down her shirt. "Were you crawling under the bed? If you get that cat hair everywhere we've already cleaned we're not gonna be able to finish."

Uh.

She glanced down and sighed. Of course that shedding cat left fur all over her shirt.

"…No, I was…getting a lint roller!"

One appeared in front of her face. Her supervisor was a well prepared maid, apparently. "If you're working around animals, always have one of these. Here. Next time get your own."

"…Sorry."

She spared the cat an annoyed look when the woman turned and walked away.

It blinked innocently at her.

What a spoiled brat.

She was much more careful about trip hazards, and she might have intentionally splashed a little water around the (_massive!_) bathroom to discourage the cat getting too close when she'd knelt down.

It followed her around doggedly. The cat would paw at her hand and try to pull it down for petting, and she'd carefully escape. The cat would chase after her and weave though legs meowing at her and she barely managed not to trip on it. In front of the supervisor.

It wanted her dead, probably. Or it was just _the most _attention starved cat she'd ever met.

She hadn't decided yet, but the close calls with breaking her neck and almost losing her job made her lean a little toward the former. Pretty, friendly cat. Pretty, friendly _secretly evil _cat.

Though, maybe she should have been more annoyed at whoever employed her? He might have been paying her (probably…?), but if it wasn't for the weird rules, the affectionate cat would just be that. She'd dealt with affectionate cats plenty of times before, and they were minimally annoying, because they went on their own way after getting a bit of attention or gently shooed.

…being annoyed with the one giving her money probably wasn't a good life plan.

Well!

She did pretty well for the rest of her time. No falling over. Minimal chit-chat with the cat. She almost made it the entire way before she got trapped again. In. a closet.

It felt like a room, it was big enough to be what passed for her living room, but it had only one exit. The cat blocked it.

Its blue eyes _gleamed_.

This was a plot. She'd fallen into a trap _set by a cat of all things_.

"…Oh _alright already_!" She tossed her hands into the air and then crouched down to her knees. She'd gotten everything done, there was still time before the owner of the house appeared so she could still rescue herself…and there were no cameras in the closet. Probably.

She couldn't be fired for petting a cat in a closet. As weird as that concept seemed.

The cat hesitated a moment, looking over its shoulder.

…Was it seriously going to lose interest in her after harassing her all day? Did all she need do was show interest?!

It mrreowed, and then trotted over to her, propping its two front paws onto her knees. So it could properly mew in her face.

"You _really _like conversation, don't you?" Okay. Maybe signalling a truce with it would help her work in the future. Every day being like this would be pretty hellish.

Indeed, it seemed like a _very_ affectionate cat, despite what the supervisor said. It purred, it rubbed its head against her cheek, and it was determined to attack the ties on her apron until they submitted.

When not trying to kill her, the cat was pretty cute.

She laughed as the cat chased around her fingers and pounced a feather duster. She nearly tumbled over when the cat _pounced her face_ like the secret killer it truly was, and she might have lost track of time. A little.

She'd been giving the demanding cat an umpteenth belly rub when the closet door jerked open all at once.

"…Oh."

Shit.

That sure wasn't her supervisor staring down at her with a disturbingly blank expression.


	2. Chapter 2

**Queen's Favor**

_Chapter 2_

On the bright side, he wasn't a super pervert.

Finding a maid in his closet playing with a cat could have gone much worse if he were, probably.

…Because _that _was a totally appropriate thought to have while being caught red handed petting the off-limits cat by the (very soon to be ex) boss. But it was that or just feel all the mortification and disappointment at once.

The cat, who really was the one entirely at fault in the _whole situation from the start _rolled over again and immediately wandered over to greet the tall man who stood at the door of the closet. It bumped its face up against his leg and then curled up to sit next to him. It was hard to say if the cat looked falsely _innocent_, or if it felt more like a kid hiding behind their parents after _lying about someone_. It probably wasn't the most important thing to worry about just then.

Behind him, it looked like her supervisor was actively experiencing some kind of heart attack, and that was probably way more important than silly things like 'who pet the cat' and 'the rules of employment'.

…He didn't seem distracted by the supervisor's theatrics, but to be fair, the woman was silent, and his back was to her.

"It seems insufficient time was provided for your duties." Although his expression remained as blank as before, she definitely couldn't miss the annoyance in his voice.

Well at least he wasn't shouting. Sure getting another job would be all the more difficult after getting fired her first day for insubordination, but at least she wouldn't get fired while being shouted at. The cat sat at his feet and watched her with an impassive look. It was a scheming sort of cat, and it seemed appropriate to assign it human-like expressions.

"I…N-No, we finished everything." Did that really make the situation better? Probably not.

A slim brow arched. "And you chose to remain in the closet?"

Well. When looking back at her actions, at least she couldn't say she didn't put up a good fight. For being in an indefensible position. And she didn't resort to 'the cat intentionally sabotaged me' either.

Even if it would have been totally true.

"I–"

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Han!" The supervisor clapped her hands together, pleading and apologetic. "She's a new hire, but this sort of behavior is completely unacceptable! We'll have her terminated immediately!"

…Well the bus didn't need to _back over _her.

She sighed and brushed off her knees as she stood, offering the man a polite bow. "Sorry for the inconvenience."

He knelt down to collect the white cat in his arms and took a step out from the doorway, clearing her path. He seemed…coldly professional and a little bit judgmental on top of being so damn particular and picky that petting a demanding cat could get her fired…but at least he wasn't mean or aggressive.

And he managed not to look too completely like a Bond villain holding such a cat even if he was her own personal antagonist.

She could hold on to the scraps of her dignity as she walked, at least.

The exasperated supervisor launched into a lecture and a rant as they walked, but it wasn't really that important. It's not as if she didn't understand already what her offense was, and the supervisor wouldn't be over her for much longer.

The man behind her made a soft sound when she was halfway to the living room, and a moment later the white cat appeared in front of her. Pouncing her pant leg.

She stopped and stared down at the cat, which seemed intent on chewing on the hem of her brand new clothes.

She could probably shoo the cat away, provided it didn't result in him _suing someone _for damages, because that would just make things worse. But she also…didn't actually have to _not _talk to it, either. He probably couldn't double fire her.

"H-Hey…" She huffed and knelt down to pet the cat's head, and its paws grabbed her wrist instead, biting playfully at her hand. The uptight owner _really _needed to play with it more or something.

She lifted her hand to try to escape, but the cat just raised up onto its hind legs, tail twitching as it seemed intent on devouring the hand that had _done nothing against it_.

"Come on, let me go now, Elizabeth." Just being firm with a playful cat wasn't really that effective usually, but if it could scheme maybe it could be reasoned with? She didn't want to risk lifting her hand enough to have the cat hanging from her arm _right in front of _its overprotective owner.

…The cat let go of her wrist and dropped down again!

Rather than let her actually leave, though, it mewed walked in front of her, moving to attack where her apron trailed on the floor. So maybe it didn't listen and understand like a human.

"What are you _doing_?" Her supervisor leaned in and hissed at her, grabbing her arm and yanking her upright. The cat's claws briefly caught in the fabric as it lifted up, and as soon as it was free, it skittered away from her, tail flicking those damn white hairs across the ground she'd _just _cleaned.

"Please ensure that she arrives a half hour earlier tomorrow." The voice of the man behind them cut through the fresh wave of Mary's choice words.

"Huh…?" She glanced over in the direction of the voice. That cat had once again retreated to near where he was, though it seemed more interested in the toy it found than him.

"Well, of course we can't guarantee it will be another woman–"

"Another?" His brows knit slightly in what might have been confusion or perplexity if the rest of his face knew how to express itself. "The penthouse is sufficiently cleaned, there is no reason to change anyone. However, I would prefer not to retrieve anyone from my closet in the future. Ensure everything is finished on time tomorrow."

Wait…

Wait.

What?

She turned to her supervisor, but the woman looked as confused as she.

"…If there's nothing else." The man behind them made an expectant sound.

If she was apparently forgiven for touching the cat, it was probably best not to wait for him to dismiss her twice.

Her supervisor muttered in confusion the entire way out of the building…but apparently she wasn't fired by the cat after all, so as bizarre as the entire day had been…it certainly could have been worse.

Making it home and getting to flop down in a bedroom that was…yes, it was _definitely _smaller than the closet she'd been caught in earlier…while still having a job made the day pretty worthwhile. Even if she'd almost died a couple of times.

–

She really wanted to complain about the extra half-hour, considering the fact that she _did _finish everything on time the _first _time, but then it was probably a punishment of some kind for still being in the house when he arrived. Technically that could have been grounds for termination even if she'd done nothing else.

It was a bit of a relief that she could leave a little bit early and not worry about crossing paths with him, anyway. It made her less anxious about the demanding cat.

Mary hadn't been sure about why he'd made the decision he did, but…ultimately she decided he _probably _cared more about people spooking the cat or tripping over it than just giving it attention. And lo, not ignoring Elizabeth did wonders for her productivity and her "not breaking her neck" status.

After a few days, Elizabeth even left her alone most of the time. Like they'd worked out some kind of an understanding that avoided near misses with dirty towels.

She sighed as she flopped down on the ground, legs sprawled out in front of her. This was Mary's day off, which meant it was her first day _alone _cleaning the place. It also meant she didn't feel so bad about just sprawling on the ground during her break. Though she'd gotten to a point where Elzabeth didn't intentionally sabotage her work, her breaks were mostly taken up with entertaining the ever-vocal cat. Sitting on furniture just encouraged the cat to jump on it. Not that it ever seemed to care in the first place.

Spoiled brat.

No way in hell would she lay down on marble, but the area rug in the living room might as well have been a down comforter, so it was more than comfortable as a place for her to sprawl out on and play with the cat.

She laughed as the cat rolled around on its back as if such a position would _increase _its chances of catching the fluttering toy she danced around it, and the door to the suit opened.

Elizabeth immediately rolled over and looked up at the door.

She blinked up at the figure standing in the doorway, and then immediately looked down at her watch. It should have been _two hours _before he came back home!

He tutted lightly as he walked into the room, loosening the cuff-links of his jacket. "It's not an error, I've returned early."

Oh…well. Damn. She hadn't even finished completely! Considering he was aware he'd come home early though, that meant she probably wouldn't be held responsible for not finishing her work _ahead _of the schedule set out for her, right?

Though it probably didn't look good just playing with the cat instead of working. It wasn't like she had a sign up saying 'This is a break! Will return!'

She shot up to her feet quickly, straightening her uniform. "Um…s-sorry, I'll head home if you've returned."

"Aren't you on break?"

She couldn't help but squint up at him in surprise. Did he keep track of his employees' schedules that closely, or did he just make an assumption? "Well, I am, but.."

He hung the business jacket up in the small (…small for the penthouse) closet near the door. "There's no need to leave prematurely, under the circumstances."

He took a step, before a ghost of a smirk curled slim lips. "However…try to stay out of the closets."

He wandered off into his room and the snowy white cat trotted after him.

…Wait.

Was that a joke?


	3. Chapter 3

**Queen's Favor**

_Chapter 3_

A few days passed without accidentally bumping into the corporate heir (she'd been able to identify his actual position after a bit of questioning coworkers) or breaking anything, including herself. For being such good pay, it was a pretty simple job.

And apparently one of the perks was getting to play with the friendly cat and all of her ludicrously expensive toys. Though most seemed to be regular cat toys with diamonds or other frivolous things meant to increase the price pointlessly. Well, it wasn't her money or her cat. She could hardly criticize someone for wasteful spending when that person had authorized a considerable paycheck for something that she'd have accepted less to do.

She planted her hands on her hips as she surveyed the room.

This was the beginning of her second week, which meant she no longer had a supervisor looking over her shoulder. If the penthouse had actually been _difficult _to clean in the time she'd been given they'd probably have kept two (or even three) people on it…but now that she'd gotten the hang of what this place required, there wasn't any need for two. And apparently there were a few nightmares on lower floors that could use all the help they could get.

She wouldn't thank a cat, but it was definitely fortunate that things worked out in a way to allow her not to need to deal with _those_.

So the master bedroom _and_ the master bathroom were finished. There were still two guest rooms and a guest bathroom, as well as _so many _closets and two different offices. Well, most of those wouldn't be very unkempt. The kitchen and the living room were the worst, and usually that had much more to do with the white cat than the heir. If not for the cat, he'd almost not _need _a maid, in her opinion.

Except for the messy dishes he left all over the kitchen, anyway. He didn't seem to cook but it seemed like he couldn't decide where in the kitchen (or sometimes his small dining room) dishes went.

The sink.

That's where they went.

She shook her head and wandered toward the front room to collect her vacuum. She hated to work in wet clothes, so the dishes could wait. Elizabeth rolled around playing with some sort of feathered toy that reminded her more of a bird toy than a cat toy. The cat paused and looked up at her, meowing as she entered the room.

"It's not my break time yet. I've got this loud vacuum to use first."

The cat glanced at the machine in question briefly and then went back to its toy. Well, it could have been worse. At least her owner seemed understanding of maids who had no choice but to spook the feline with loud machines. Otherwise it would have been a far more difficult job.

As she made her way to the next room on her list, the front door rattled behind her.

But–it was only 10 am?

She turned quickly in surprise - last time the man hadn't had any issues with her finishing her job, and had even politely given her a drink before she'd left, but that didn't mean she should ignore him arriving at all.

…It certainly was not her employer.

"Oh!" The young man who stepped into the penthouse gave a little jump of surprise. "Ah, it's the maid!" He laughed and waved a hand toward the red vacuum she held in both hands. "I thought you were holding a weapon and ready to ambush me at first."

How could she have been waiting to ambush _him_ when he didn't even knock?

He certainly didn't look like any of the employees she'd seen in the building - at least not the sorts who'd be allowed up in the penthouse when the owner of it was away. His clothes were so casual she'd expect him to have wandered in on the ground floor on accident except he couldn't have made it all the way to the penthouse on his own. And he didn't look lost.

He must have been a personal friend. Which…was interesting. How often did people as rich as her employer befriend people who looked like they'd rolled out of a bed in the clothes they were wearing somewhere in a suburban part of town?

With tacky tiger-striped glasses. Maybe he was actually a relative of some sort?

"I'm sorry, Mr. Han isn't home yet."

The man laughed again and nodded. "Exactly the plan!"

She frowned. "The plan?"

"Of course! Didn't Jumin - I mean, _Mr. Han _tell you?" He placed a hand on his chest dramatically. "I'm _Darling_ _Elly's _cat-sitter! When he's away at work I keep her company!"

If that were so, it would explain why the cat seemed determined to make _her _that, since he wasn't around. But…

"I haven't seen or heard of you."

"That's because I was on vacation!" He adjusted the tacky glasses on his face and brushed away a few strands of his red hair that immediately got caught in the frames, before giving a confident thumbs-up. "But I'm here now, so don't worry! I'll keep Elly busy while you work, and I won't make a bigger mess for you!"

He _really _didn't seem outfitted like an employee…but if his job was playing with a cat, it wasn't like there was a uniform for that. And comfortable casual clothes that one wouldn't mind rolling around in and potentially getting damaged alongside dirty _would _be appropriate.

And considering the toys the cat was given and the general amount of pampering Elizabeth clearly received considering the rules usually employed for maids, having a cat sitter wouldn't be unreasonable. It also would explain why he'd made an exception for her cat interactions, if the usual entertainment were on vacation.

She squinted at him a few moments longer before sighing. "You'd _better _not make anything messier, or you'll be the one cleaning it up."

He immediately stood at attention and brought his hand up in a mock salute. "Orders received, Ma'am! I'll be extra good!"

…Well at least it would make the rest of her job easier if Elizabeth wasn't always a concern she needed to keep in mind.

She wandered off into one of the guest bedrooms as the red haired man started in toward the cat, chattering excitedly in something that didn't sound entirely like a human language.

The spare bedroom was one of Elizabeth's favorite places to prowl around, and it was mostly the only thing to _fix _about it. Things were knocked off of desks, the sheets were tugged on and mangled up by cat paws, and fur collected _everywhere_.

Still, it wasn't more than ten minutes before she'd finished. The next thing to do on her list was the guest bathroom, so a vacuum wouldn't be necessary for it. She wandered back from the room to the living room.

And dropped the vacuum in shock.

The so-called cat sitter spun in a circle in the middle of the room. It _looked _as if he held Elizabeth by her scuff _with his mouth_, but his hands were also holding her under her front legs, so maybe he wasn't?

….He probably was.

"_What are you doing?!"_

The man jumped again, and in his surprise _dropped the cat_. "Oh! Sir Maid!" He waved a hand in a vaguely dismissive, shaking his head. As Elizabeth bolted across the room away from him. "Nothing! Cat sitting business! We're just playing~!"

"That isn't _playing_!" Had he ever touched cats before?! Was he messing with her on purpose…?

If he wanted to do that, she would have rather that he came in and made things messy than traumatize the cat. Her employer would be less angry if she were behind schedule than if the cat were frazzled or injured.

He laughed and shook his head. "Well of course it's playing! I was being careful, and I'd never hurt Elly, I was just helping her be an airplane."

"You're not a cat sitter."

He looked offended, and he stumbled back a step, the light of the sun glinting on his glasses through the window. "I _am _a cat sitter! I'm certified."

"There's no way."

"It's definitely true!" He looked around the room then, and upon spotting the white cat lurking near its tree, lurched after it. "Come back, Elly!"

"No!"

It might have been a drastic action, but it was an urgent situation. If he terrified the cat and made her start shedding or stop eating or injured it, _she'd _be the one the blame fell on. She wouldn't lose her job over a weirdo who found his way into the penthouse, and she couldn't afford to go call security while he could still attack the cat.

So, really.

She didn't have any choice but to tackle him to the ground.

But he didn't have to scream so loudly when she did it, like it was _that _much of a surprise.


	4. Chapter 4

**Queen's Favor**

_Chapter 4_

"_GYAA–!" _

She couldn't tell if slamming into the ground knocked the wind out of him and ended the shout early, or if the crash of two bodies hitting the ground drowned out the end of it, but at least it stopped.

He flailed on the ground underneath her, one hand reaching out toward where the white cat peered out from the safety of the bedroom. For all his flailing, though, he didn't move anywhere. He seemed much too scrawny to overcome her full body weight, though, so it wasn't a surprise.

"Elly~! Save me~!" The way he drew out the words, there was no way any cat would come to him. Indeed, the cat immediately disappeared and he dropped his head to the ground in disappointment.

…It was hard to tell if he'd seriously expected it to work, or if he was simply being dramatic. But it was probably the latter? Surely.

Well, it would be if he were a reasonable person, but as far as she knew he was a strange weirdo who found a way to break into a rich man's house just to attack his cat. (He _did _know the cat's name, though…)

While it wasn't something loudly broadcasted, as a personal maid it was important to be adept at self defense. When working alone, _anything _might happen. Random intruders included. So, while he hadn't managed to squirm his way out of her knee pinning him down yet, she didn't leave it at that.

She wrested his outstretched arm behind his back and then pulled the other one to join it.

"H-hey! Ow! Ow, ow, ow!"

"If you stop struggling it won't hurt." Well, it might be uncomfortable. She wasn't exactly making an attempt for it to be a comfortable hold, but his flailing about and jerking his shoulders around would have caused him the most pain. For as much as it would have _hurt_.

…But she couldn't just keep him stuck there until someone came looking for her. She'd get tired, and more importantly she had an actual _job _to do which wasn't pinning an intruder to the ground with her hands for hours.

Briefly, she glanced about her surroundings for something to secure his hands together with, before her gaze fell on one of the bracelets around his arms. It looked flexible and long. She shifted slightly to pin his arms with her leg and uncoiled the yellow elastic from his arm.

It looked flimsy, but it felt tougher than that, like some kind of metallic paracord. Which served her purposes just fine.

"Wah–wait you'll break it!"

Noisy. This guy was so noisy, and she couldn't help noticing just how much, when the penthouse was always so calm and quiet when she cleaned it. Even when there were others in the place, it never got all that loud. He just kept whining and complaining as she used the bracelet to tie his hands together, but once it was secured, his struggling showed no real effect on the knots.

Good. She hadn't been completely confident in those. It wasn't like the life of a maid was so harrowing that she _regularly _had to tie people up. Or ever.

Never.

She'd never done it before. Because people didn't generally try to _actually _break in and mess around with a place when a maid was _right there_.

"Don't try to get up or I'll tackle you to the ground again and tie up your legs this time." If she could find rope. Maybe his shoelaces would work? Well, actually she just wanted her threat to work long enough for security to arrive and deal with him instead.

"Not necessary! Not necessary!" He looked over his shoulder at her - or at least he made a good attempt at trying to turn his head like an owl. "I won't invoke any more violent ire, but I told you! I'm Jumin Han's friend! This isn't necessary!"

She didn't know much about the man who owned the penthouse other than that he seemed very strict and very quiet, but 'friend' seemed very unlikely. If only because no cat owner would stand for that kind of manhandling. Let alone one so protective of his cat.

"You were trying to kill his cat."

"_I WOULD NEVER!"_

He _said _that, but she couldn't imagine any other coherent reason for treating a cat so bizarrely and roughly.

She brushed her hands off as she stood, and walked over to call the security desk. To his credit, as weird as he was, he really didn't try to move. He whined and complained, but he didn't immediately start wriggling toward the room with the cat in it or something. She'd really have had to tie him up more than that if he had.

The security officer she spoke to over the phone was…surprisingly calm about the matter. Whoever he was, he must have been _somewhat _familiar to the house and the workers there, as the guard merely seemed exasperated with the red haired man when the guard appeared.

Rather than pull the man out of the room, the bespectacled youth ended up planted on a chair, watched by one of the bodyguards while original security man spoke to someone on the phone. Contextually, it would have to be the cat's owner.

She observed the process for a little while, but once it was evident they waited for the man to return, she turned her attention back to her work. They wouldn't need her help keeping him subdued and it _still _wasn't her job to keep unwelcome intruders in line. She had dust bunnies to deal with and a few more challenging wars to wage in the rooms that managed to get mangled every day. Usually by the cat.

And she didn't want to be associated with the situation at all if Elizabeth looked distressed when he came back. It wasn't her fault, she wouldn't get lectured for it. No way.

It was only about a half hour before the front door opened to admit the man of the house. She happened to be standing in a hallway near to the living room when he did, and was close enough to watch his expression turn from pensive thoughtfulness to something that…might have been amusement.

They weren't _actually _friends, were they?

"Didn't I tell you not to come here anymore?" His tone was casual as he walked toward the sitting boy.

"A hero won't stand idly by while the princess is trapped in a gloomy tower!" She couldn't actually see the intruder's face from where she lingered, eavesdropping, but he sounded almost _sincere _in his bizarre delusion.

"…Heroes are usually arrested?"

An offended huff responded to his comment. "I couldn't have expected the evil overlord to have actually hired ninja maids to guard the castle. This dramatic set back only means I'll return to triumphantly rescue her next chapter!"

"No. You won't." She couldn't see either of them now, and she didn't want to get close enough for them to see her. Especially since the captive man referenced her. "Ninja maid?"

The security guard responded. "The one who called us was one of the maids."

It was brief and, from where she stood, quiet…but his laughter sounded surprisingly nice. For being so cold and blank most of the time, the amusement that echoed in his short laugh felt warm.

…She had to finish her work, not eavesdrop on a conversation between two people who clearly knew each other better than she knew either of them, but she still couldn't help a bit of a smile when she ducked into the nearest bathroom to work.

He really did have a nice laugh.

–

Initially, it hadn't really hurt. The excitement of the moment and how busy she'd been the rest of the day playing catch-up to all the time the weird cat assaulter wasted, but once she got home she realized her whole body ached.

Crashing into the ground with a bony human underneath her probably left her with more bruises than it did to him. Maybe she _should _have been a bit more rough with him. Especially since it sounded a bit like she'd just been dragged into some kind of weird inside joke between two…maybe…not friends?

They hadn't really sounded like friends, but nothing about their conversation seemed serious enough to actually call them enemies, either.

She flopped down into her bed and suppressed a wince at the way her soreness seemed to reverberate with the vibrations in the mattress.

Wouldn't be nice if she got a bonus for protecting the cat?

She probably should just be happy he didn't check the CCTV records and see the part where she technically _let _him do it first. Even though it wasn't like she had the authority to tell people who could or couldn't go into a penthouse suite that wasn't even hers. She was _literally _the hired help. Unless people did something illegal or dangerous in front of her, she basically didn't exist.

She might have liked not existing right then.

It would mean she'd be less sore, probably.

"…Guh."

If he showed up again tomorrow and tried to mess up her day _again_, when she'd just gotten used to how easy and relaxed the job was, she couldn't promise herself she wouldn't just break his glasses and kick him bodily out the door.

He'd proven to be pretty weak today, so she could _probably _succeed in violently ejecting him if she tried. And she'd spread information about him through the rest of the maids and other coworkers in the building. See if he ever got a decent maid for himself _then_.

…She couldn't help but worry a little bit that the fiasco spooked the cat away from _her_ just by being involved in it.

–

Somewhat surprisingly, it did not. Even though Elizabeth stayed in the bedroom hidden under the bed the rest of the day of the commotion, the very next morning she behaved as if nothing happened at all, trotting up to greet her as soon as she arrived, and then lazily playing with toys wherever she felt like.

Almost more importantly, the red haired man did not reappear.

Maybe he took the threat Jumin Han made about police seriously.

Fur seemed to be _everywhere_. Moreso than usual. Which meant the cat must have been shedding excessively. Was it the time of the year, or despite the cat's apparent nonchalance, was it still stressed from the previous day's incident?

During her lunch, after eating she sat down on the soft rug in the living room. Rather than approach and attempt to pounce or draw her into some sort of play, the white cat simply laid down next to her leg and dropped her fluffy white head on a knee.

…Maybe the cat really was a bit worn out still?

"I don't think he's coming back any time soon." She reached down and ran her fingers lightly through the unnaturally soft fur. "You should be okay now."

The cat lazily swatted at a dust mote that floated near its face.

Where did all the dust in the suite even _come _from?

She flopped back on the rug herself, hands and arms splayed out on either side of her, and admired the ceiling. It should have been regular stucco, but from where she lay…it looked like someone might have actually put purposeful patterns in it instead. Who would waste the time or the money on something so trivial?

It did kind of look nice, though, if that's what it was.

White fur moved from her leg to curl up between her arm and chest, purring lightly. "Don't you step on my face next just because I'm relaxing. I defended you yesterday, you know."

The cat gave no sign it heard her.

Before she could continue her lecture, the front door opened to admit the one who owned the penthouse suite. Considerably early. She couldn't help but wonder if he _only _did that while she was lying on the floor looking like a child who'd just played herself out running all over the penthouse and back with the cat.

It seemed like it so far.

"You're here."

The cat lifted her head and then wandered leisurely to where he stood. It seemed like it would be disrespectful to hold a conversation while staring out at the upside down world beyond his large windows…so she, too, sat up to speak to him. "I'm afraid I'm only halfway done."

"That's to be expected, given the time." He made a small gesture with one hand, a minuscule dismissive wave. As if the concern was much too small to be bothered with anything grander than that. "It's why I returned home early."

…hold on.

Why did he do _what_?


	5. Chapter 5

**Queen's Favor**

_Chapter 5_

_"That's to be expected, given the time." He made a small gesture with one hand, a minuscule dismissive wave. As if the concern was much too small to be bothered with anything grander than that. "It's why I returned home early."_

Dear lord in heaven. He really was a super pervert after all.

Well. Maybe. It's the first coherent thought that jumped up to her after her initial confused panic, but then that was probably a knee-jerk response from the day before. Her body still ached from the crash with the ground, after all.

But...no. No, it still didn't add up. If he were a secret pervert, she'd be getting rules about how to dress _before_ he started appearing home early. And besides that, what kind of a person would use 'the maid attacked an intruder who intended to assault my cat' as a downing rod for 'acceptable sexual target'?

Well, honestly, if anyone did, it would be a rich person.

_Oh._

Oh. Her expression must have been showing some of that, because he'd stopped speaking and was simply staring at her, one brow raised impatiently as if she'd actually interrupted him and had been rambling on.

She hadn't been.

She had a _very _good wall between inner and outer monologue, thanks much. So expression it must have been.

"Um...have I done something wrong?" Honestly, now that his incredulous expression grounded her more into reality, that was the most likely answer. "If anything's not up to your standards, you can always just call the office-"

"That would be unnecessary." He flicked a hand dismissively. "I've already arranged a replacement."

She spluttered. It was most undignified, yes, but she would contend that compared to being caught in a closet cornered by his cat it was positively graceful.

Really though?!

That...it wasn't..._did she just get fired?!_

"Wh_-why_?"

His gaze swept across her in silence for a moment, before he tilted his head toward the cat that sat near his feet. "I'll be out of the country for three days. Ordinarily, I would keep Elizabeth the 3rd in the care of a particular employee trained in her care." Of course he would have a special assistant just for his cat. "However...this time she's turned off her phone on her vacation days."

_This time_?

His brows furrowed a moment, almost as if he struggled to comprehend how one of his employees had managed to so thoroughly stymie him. It was only a passing expression, though, before his gaze turned back to her. "Caring for her will take up too much time for you to clean. You will, of course, be paid the premium she usually receives for the duty."

Wait. So...not fired. Just transferred. Suddenly and non-optional, apparently. "I haven't been trained to care for a cat." That wasn't really the _most _pressing concern? But it's what dribbled out of her open and very confused mouth first.

His lips pressed into a line briefly, before he nodded. "It's regrettable, yes. But I'll arrange for instructions for you to follow. Adhere to them. It will be extremely obvious when I return should you fail to do so."

She squinted at him for a few moments. As of yesterday she knew he could laugh - and therefore must possess a sense of humor - but his serious expression didn't seem to hold any sort of mirth to signal the set up to a very bizarre joke. The moments passed and he simply stared at her, blinking eerily similar to the way his cat did, awaiting a response.

Granted, he hadn't actually asked a question. At all. Since he came home. But she definitely _felt _that hanging in the air, as if he expected an answer anyway. Maybe he forgot to just ask if she wanted the job? Maybe he expected her to ask about the details of what he expected?

She sighed and pushed herself up to her feet. Instinct told her to brush her knees clean, but his rug had nothing more than cat hair in it, and she knew well enough that trying to rid herself of any of that before she left the penthouse was a monumental waste of her time.

It's pretty rude to go talking about one's poverty in front of one's employer's abject wealth, but it _really _seemed important to point that out. It wasn't as if he'd know her apartment was smaller than the closet he'd found her in, and with his level of wealth he probably couldn't conceive of the idea that whatever cat food chef was in his instructions would break her bank just making Elizabeth an appetizer. If she didn't want to be insta-fired over this, there was no choice but to communicate. "My apartment isn't big enough to house her. It's small enough that I could misplace it in here. And it's near a train track, so the air and sound quality really aren't up to the standards she's used to. And frankly, the neighbor's dog - who shouldn't even be there, as it's a pet-free complex - barks from 4AM to 9AM non-stop."

"That's horrifying." He shook his head. "Elizabeth the 3rd won't be staying with you over the weekend."

_Well, thank goodnes-_

"You'll be staying with her here."

"...Huh?"

He gave a short, barely audible sigh, before kneeling down to gather the cat in question - who'd begun to paw at pant legs undoubtedly more expensive than her entire bed - up into his arms to pet. "Your responsibilities will solely revolve around Elizabeth the 3rd. Caring for her...and _protecting her_ will be a 72-hour non-stop assignment. Deplorable living conditions aside, residing in your own home for that time might provide too many distractions to care for her properly."

_In the penthouse_? Well, honestly, now that she thought about it that did make sense. From someone as picky and pampering toward his cat, it probably _would _seem more sensible to him to bring in someone to sit the entire house than to just temporarily re-home his cat. And it wasn't as if she'd never house-sat for someone before. Although none of the digs she'd cared for (with the not-so-subtle suggestions left behind about cleaning them up while she was there) were _quite _as swanky as this one, she was at least reasonably familiar with it, given that she had cleaned it for a while now.

"Well...I'll...still need to pack up some supplies, and you'll need to make sure you've bought up enough food for her before you leave."

"...Of course anything ordered to this room from the shops below will be covered. Whether for Elizabeth or for yourself."

"Point me to the contract. I'll sign it right now. I've even got a thumbtack if you need a drop of blood." Was she coming on a little too strong there? Maybe? But three nights on that guest bed without a dog barking and free food was more than enough to put up with Elizabeth's hijinks and whatever pedantic demands she _knew _would somehow make their way onto her instructions.

His lips curled up in amusement, as the cat in question deftly jumped from his arms again to the floor, meandering off to attack one of her toys. "It was already signed an hour ago."

That...

That _couldn't _be legal.

She forgot to look up whether ultra-rich heirs could sign contracts in her place, but in her defense, that night had kept her pretty busy. She tidied up her things, made sure to notify her contacts that she'd be busy house-sitting for the weekend, and collected clothing more comfortable than her work uniform which wouldn't make her feel like some kind of homeless beggar just sitting around in his penthouse.

Sure, she'd be alone save for the cat, but _she'd_ be judging herself.

Belatedly, she also made sure to gather up some books and bits of entertainment. Beautiful and spacious as it was, Mr. Jumin Han's apartment wasn't exactly stocked with things to keep herself entertained with when she had time to herself.

Predictably, the penthouse was already devoid of human life when she arrived, right on time.

Also predictable: not a list, but an entire pamphlet sat on the counter of the kitchen marked 'INSTRUCTIONS. READ.'

She was absolutely wrong about the pedantic demands. They weren't just hidden away in a list normal things. They _were _the instructions.

Nevertheless, the day passed...for once...unremarkably. As if the universe knew she wasn't technically 'working', and so it didn't bother to get out of bed. As the natural light faded for the day, sensors activated the internal lights, the transition almost seamless.

At some point in the night, the white cat hopped from her lap, abandoned its toys, and pranced off to the master bedroom. No doubt to roll around on her master's sheets and get white hairs absolutely _everywhere _in time for the poor new maid to have to clean them.

The entire floor itself was really the penthouse. Without the sounds she made from bustling around playing with the cat, feeding the cat, cleaning the dishes or running cleaning equipment, she could almost hear her own heartbeat in the silence.

She stretched out on the couch, each creak and crackle almost an explosion in the silence of the penthouse, and draped an arm over her forehead. The rug she usually played with Elizabeth on was comfortable, sure, but there could be no denying the couch was more comfortable than her bed back home. She probably didn't even need to use the guest bedroom at all, except to be indulgent and potentially keep herself from being smothered by cat hair in her sleep.

_...It's lonely._

Yes, she lived alone. In her apartment she didn't even have an animal to keep her company. This late, she'd also often given up on texting partners who'd fallen asleep at their phones. But she heard the city. The neighbors on every side of her (sometimes getting up to things she really didn't want to hear), that infernal barking dog, the regular passing of the trains carrying people to and fro at all hours of the night.

Here...she heard nothing. The building was huge, practically a small self-contained city with employees, customers and other residents milling about on the floors below. Not even the distant clacking of heels or the rattling of the elevator could be heard from the penthouse. And it was so high up above the rest of the city the sounds on the street below wouldn't make it through the windows even when she left them open.

Cut off from the rest of the world in a bubble of isolation, so far away from the nearest human that no one could even wander up and pass close enough to be heard _accidentally_.

_This is worth all that money, huh...?_

Her lips pursed a moment. It did separate the rich from the poor, she supposed, a bubble of luxury and wealth completely untouched and unaffected by the help except when its owner desired for it to be. Wealth, distilled into an apartment building.

Her free hand fell to the ground, fingers trailing in the plush rug, and her gaze turned toward the door.

In the still silence of midnight, a part of her couldn't help but wish the ever-frustrating and strange owner of the penthouse would have second thoughts about leaving her with the penthouse for three days and return early again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Queen's Favor**

_Chapter 6_

In the end, she made it through the night without being smothered to death by a cat, even though she accidentally fell asleep on the couch at some point. The sound of the door clicking open stirred her awake, and she shot up from where she'd sprawled out on the couch with enough speed that it was for the best Elizabeth hadn't decided to climb on her in the night.

"M'awake! I was on break!"

The blonde, bespectacled woman standing in the doorway blinked owlishly at her. That. Wasn't the owner of the penthouse.

Ah. And she also wasn't on break. As the fog and disorientation of the morning faded from her mind, knowledge of where she was (and why) drifted back to her. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and shook her head. "...Sorry...force of habit."

The look on the woman's face spoke of assumptions she really should clear up. She was, however, much too groggy for that.

Tomorrow. She'd explain it tomorrow.

Most of the instructions were pedantic, some were ridiculous, and a few of them were patently impossible. Thus, she treated Elizabeth the way she'd treated just about any other cat. As she did all the time, really, sans shooing. So far, she hadn't gotten any complaints from the cat, so she considered her job done well so far. Barring some lonely nights - maybe she'd leave the TV on or something, and _definitely _use the guest bed this time - it wouldn't be terrible to get paid five times the ludicrous amount she was already paid for a three day stint playing with a cat and not worrying about the cat hair.

She stretched as she looked out the window. Dawn barely colored the horizon that showed nary a bump from the other buildings in the city from the height of the penthouse. Whatever schedule he had for her replacement, she couldn't help wondering if the unusually early hour was some kind of slight against her, like a pre-emptive assumption her peasant-self would ruin the place living in it.

Well. She was a _maid_, not a peasant.

And this maid was definitely going to take advantage of the shower she'd cleaned so many times. Not the master one, as the blonde had (foolishly) decided to start off in the master bedroom, and first impressions had already built enough unpleasant assumptions without adding to them. In the end, though, it didn't really matter. The guest bathroom might have _looked_ slightly less extra, but the shower and various soaps inside worked just as well.

She'd never experienced luxury in the form of _a shower_ before. These days left watching the penthouse might just ruin her for ordinary, normal showers that rained down hard droplets of water on her and expected her to move around to clean herself.

No, but really. The shower _gave her a massage. From every direction. _And it sprayed a rainbow all around her for no other reason than to be pretty while it did it.

She'd never experienced anything that made her feel so much like a pleb while also making her feel _so good_ before. It had been a mistake to miss out on using this shower her first day.

Stepping out of the shower, she couldn't help the odd urge to want to wave it farewell. Or maybe to take a glass of wine. She did neither, though, because the first important thing...was that she hadn't slept in the guest bedroom as she'd planned, so she didn't get the chance to grab a change of clothes from her bag of supplies before jumping into the shower.

Oh well. She sighed and wrapped a _very _oversized, downright ridiculously soft towel around herself and gave a little twirl in the full length, angled mirror in the bathroom. Honestly, it was thick and heavy enough to be an outfit itself if she just got a pin or something else more permanent to keep it from slipping through the day playing with Elizabeth. And besides that, maids have seen way more harrowing things than their female coworker in a towel. Even if her replacement happened to be in her neck of the penthouse, it wouldn't be a problem.

She did make extra sure her feet were dry before leaving the room, though. Even if it wasn't her responsibility right now, she couldn't bear tracking wet footprints across floors as expensive as these. Or the rug she'd grown fond of.

She stretched, popping her back a bit, as she made her way across the still quiet penthouse. Dawn colored the front room an apricot pink as the sun finally began to shake off its night-time grogginess, and she took a moment to appreciate the rare view. Normally when she showed up here, it was long after the owner had gone off to work - and thus, naturally past sunrise.

"What a waste, having the couch pointed away from the window."

The rattling of the front door cut through her thoughts, and she spun on her heel, hand immediately going to her chest. _'No, I'm not wandering your penthouse naked. That's not what I do normally. Normal people don't do that, and I am a normal person. You don't have secret cameras set up so you could plan this, right?'_ No, strike that. That last bit didn't need to be there if the owner of-

Oh.

A young brunette popped her head into the penthouse - gaze quickly scanning for the owner, likely, before falling on her. "Oh! Hey." It was Mina. One of the more seasoned workers in the definitely-not-a-company she, an independent contractor, definitely didn't work for.

Early maid service _and _two? Now, _come on_. Just what did that Mr. Han think of her?!

"Are you training the other girl? She got here about an hour ago." Admittedly, if the girl still hadn't left that bedroom after an hour, she probably _needed_ the training. Were she actually working on a timer, that kind of a slow pace wouldn't work out for her at all.

Mina frowned in confusion, lips pursed. "Other girl? I wasn't told about anyone like that."

Wait...

what?

Mina didn't seem to be joking, looking genuinely bewildered. But there was _definitely _a girl who came in earlier. And that girl definitely hadn't left the master bedroom yet.

Cold dread seeped through the pleasant warmth left from the shower's magical watery fingers. No sounds came from that room. That room which had a whole treasury of valuables not all that well hidden away and a safe with...who-knew-what in it. She broke out into a run - a mad dash - toward the bedroom.

Okay, so in fairness, she was taking care of the _cat_, not the family jewels or whatever he stored away in there. But she sure as hell wouldn't be getting a positive recc for her next job if she let her boss get robbed while she was _right there_. Even if the jewel thief probably wouldn't do anything to Elizabeth.

She crashed through the bedroom door, skidding on the floor.

The maid froze, sitting on her knees on the bed. _Biting Elizabeth's_ _ear._

**_really?_**

Adrenaline pumped harder than her heart in her ears. It was, maybe, a calculated risk to take, but...she charged.

"_Oh no!" _The 'maid' shrieked and, fortunately, dropped the cat (who skittered immediately off of the bed and away from her attacker) a few moments before her body collided with the bespectacled cat-napper. For a few moments, the world blurred. Blonde hair flew through the air, limbs tangled and spun, and she landed quite unpleasantly on the cold, hard floor of the bedroom. With another spectacular crash.

All the pains that the shower had hushed away rose up in a familiar, angry chorus.

The 'maid', now bereft of her blonde wig and with her (actually now that she thought about it, totally out of place) dress askew, was very clearly that same red-haired man from before. The very reason she was so sore now. _Again_. The hands at his arms gripped with renewed strength. And a bit of anger.

"_**You**__."_

He blinked down at her a moment, as if he didn't actually recognize her - a fact she'd be less offended by if she weren't currently in pain and being crushed by his bony knee and arm right then - before his eyes widened. "Ninja maid! I didn't recognize you without any clothes on!"

A man in a disguise had _no place _to say something like that.

Also...right. She did forget about the towel thing there in the heat of the moment. The reminder caused her cheeks to heat and more than a few indignant squawks to escape her throat.

"Hey...don't take this the wrong way, but-" His hand snapped down to yank at her carefully tied knot, undoing the precariously positioned towel. Instinctively, her hands flew up to the knot.

Clearly according to plan, the man immediately took advantage of his new freedom by shooting off of her...and in the direction the cat had run off toward.

Sly.

Very sly.

As incompetent as he appeared to be at first glance (and...second), he'd come up with a strategy pretty quickly there, leaving a poor, innocent girl like her to choose between preserving her modesty and preserving the source of her money.

Honestly, it wasn't even a choice.

The wet towel wrapped around his ankle in a way she wanted to attribute to watching many a martial arts movie to, but was probably just blind luck. The fact that it actually succeeded in causing him to crash face-first into the ground probably had more to do with his attempt to run in killer stilettos than any kind of skill on her part, though.

As _if _she'd let a little thing like modesty stand in the way of her and another day with that shower.

She felt pretty awesome though, standing over his sprawled out form, gripping the twisted towel in both of her hands. Sort of like the ninja maid he'd characterized her as. For all of two seconds, before she remembered the nakedness. True, his face hadn't even attempted to move from staring at the immaculate floorboards underneath him, but even if Mina hadn't run out of the penthouse from the first scream (she definitely had), a situation like this could turn sour really, really quickly.

"If you even try to look, I'll tie you down and choke you to death on Elizabeth's stray hairs."

...Okay...so mental note: don't go with the first threat that comes to mind in the future.

"I-I mean, that isn't really a dealbreaker, but I won't move!" He honestly sounded a little condescending that time. Which was impressive, with his face pressed into the ground and his maid dress shucked up to show off...space shuttle underwear. "I'm not a pervert!"

"..._Right_."

"That's _hurtful_."

All of her clothes were on the other side of the building. Any attempt to get them would just mean his escape, but if she stayed put, even if Mina did call the security guards...she'd be the talk of the entire complex, being caught naked in the owner's bedroom, pinning down a man in a maid dress with her foot.

She sighed, releasing one end of the towel. Her foot remained planted very firmly on the back of his head, though, so if he tried anything...at least she'd break his glasses in the process of being bowled over. Given that he'd dressed kind of like a hobo last time she'd seen him, that might mean he couldn't afford just to replace them casually enough to try anything under those circumstances.

Anyway, she quickly redid the knot on the towel, and moved back a step, just to keep any wayward glances away. "If you go for the cat again, I know exactly where the taser is in this room, and I will not turn it off until the guards arrive." There. Better.

"...Geez. I didn't expect the villain to hire a prison guard for Elly while he was gone." He said that to the floor. Apparently he was still taking her earlier threat seriously? Or maybe he just wanted to stay put.

She walked around him, so that if he did try to make another dash after all he'd have to get through her first, and squatted-no, knelt. Must be mindful. She knelt down in front of him, watching him with an incredulous look. "You know that you can just buy your own cat, right?"

"ELLY ISN'T JUST ANY CAT!" His face shot up - as if he just _knew_ it was safe to do so then. Or he was so passionate about the damn cat that he didn't mind risking his own death. "WHAT WE HAVE IS SOMETHING _SPECIAL_. I can't just replace her like that! And also, I'm not allowed to own a cat."

"I wonder why."

Okay, but really. Elizabeth the 3rd was a beautiful, friendly cat with an uncanny intelligence and a secret sadistic streak both wide and deep enough to drown a man in. But _two men_ both seemed convinced she was _literally a princess_. In their own...special...ways. What she wouldn't give to have a couple of (moderately attractive, if she had to admit it) men so obsessed with her.

His lips pressed into a frown as he pushed himself up from the floor, mimicking her position. She tensed, ready to move if he sprung into action again. "It's not fair if he went and left her with a protector."

She squinted at him. "'Protector'? Didn't you say something about _saving_ her?"

He pushed up his glasses, the lenses reflecting the dim light of the room, from where dawn filtered in through the open door. "Of course! I'm Hero Seven! Here to liberate the fair princess Elly from her evil captor." He leaned in a bit and winked. "You're the stoic but wily guard determined to keep her captive while the overlord is away."

"...So you're a crazy person."

He clutched his chest over the crumpled dress. "_Ow_."

She sighed and stood up, crossing her arms. "Look here, 'Hero'. This gig is _really, really _well paying, so I don't care if you're actually this eccentric owner's friend somehow. If you go for that cat one more time this weekend, I'm calling the cops and you can stay in jail until he comes home and bails you out."

He winced. "So harsh. Is the money truly worth such cruel behavior towa-"

"_The only cruelty is your animal cruelty."_

"Your words hurt more than your ninja attacks!"

"Anyway." She waved her hand, just...cutting through that nonsense. "You probably spooked Mina so hard she ran away and didn't call anyone. Since I now have to do a bunch of cleaning _instead_ of her - that I'm not getting paid for - I don't have time to deal with the guards or calling up Mr. Han to explain to him that you broke in again. Get out of here and don't come back while I'm here and I'll let this one go."

He shot up, hands reaching for her shoulders. For just a moment, her heart skipped a beat in panic, hands moving up to grip his wrists in defense. Instead of some kind of crazed or aggressive expression, though, what looked disturbingly like genuine tears shone in his eyes. "Ah! So you are a ninja with _a heart! _I owe you my life! As will Princess Elly, one day!"

He provided her no opportunity to respond, turning and sprinting out of the room. Only the fact that he glanced over his shoulder, waved and gave a little "Another time~!" kept her from chasing after him - just in case.

The door slammed shut a few moments later, and a slightly frazzled cat peeked her head into the doorway.

She planted one hand on her hip, and with the other she pointed as sternly as she could manage down at the little terror. "...You're going to get me _killed_, aren't you?"

Elizabeth mewed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Queen's Favor**

_Chapter 7_

The bed hurt her back.

The blankets were flimsy and scratchy. One of her neighbors screamed in time with the clanging of metal on sheet rock and that _damn dog _barked in response each time, like it thought they were communicating.

Her shower wasn't that great, either.

She stared up at the ceiling, refusing to move from the bed that felt much like she'd just went ahead and lied down on the floor. "...I'm gonna sue him for emotional anguish." Three days living in the lap of luxury just made her modest apartment feel less 'affordable' and more of 'a hole in the wall that led directly underground into a troll's cave'.

She groaned and crossed her arms over her face with a sigh. "Well. If I just got to keep _that _job, I could eventually afford to get that, too..._never_." She couldn't kid herself: one didn't ever catch up to the person _paying_ them, or their roles would end up reversing.

The briefly flitting image of her employer stuck cleaning _her _big ol' penthouse somewhere did cushion the discomfort of her bed.

Regardless, the pay would go back to where it was before, but at least her workload would also go back to something easy. And the risks of the cat being mauled or kidnapped while on her watch were vastly reduced. That was good for both her job security and her lifespan.

Her phone lit in the darkness, the vibration of an incoming call just audible around the rest of the sounds of the night. The caller ID showed a bunch of random numbers she didn't recognize, however, so she rejected the call. It seemed a bit late for a spam caller, but then...maybe it was some foreign company going down a list of numbers.

Still, since she'd moved again, there was no reason not to turn the television on. Yes, her television was smaller and about 8000p less crisp than the one in the penthouse, but it was also much closer to her face while she was comfortably lying in bed than the ones scattered through that house.

She propped her hand on a cheek as she flipped channels.

And startled herself as a the middle of some loud note cut through the room. A trio of actors spun on a stage, singing some song about dogs. Was it that one stage production of '_Not All Dogs Go to Heck'?_

_"_Someone from this city was in it, right...?" She mumbled to herself, tapping her cheek with one finger. One of her coworkers had mentioned wanting to go see it, which was the reason she knew the name.

Well. That presumed there weren't other stage plays with a bunch of attractive men dressed up as dogs in them running recently. _I wouldn't know. Who has time to go to plays when there's whole penthouses to clean?_

She scoffed lightly in the dark.

The final note of the song focused on some pale man that the camera tried (and mostly failed, given its distance from the stage) to zoom in on while he sang. "Now _there's_ a dog I'd pet."

Still, once the actors broke and moved on to the next scene, she turned the channel again.

No way was she going to watch a bunch of men dancing on stage dressed up like dogs just because one of them was _extremely _pretty.

So of course she ended up on '_Makeover My Already Beautiful Home_'.

..

The soreness was really just a placebo. Mostly. Falling asleep watching television wasn't the most comfortable position she could have laid in all night, but she refused to accept that her body was actually ruined for her normal bed.

No! She wouldn't be so weak. Three nights in a heavenly bed - two, plus a rockin' couch - wouldn't break her!

Standing in the empty apartment (really more of a house) in her uniform. This was much more familiar and comfortable. She always felt a bit guilty when ordering food from room service, and had been sure each time she sat down in her night gown on the couch to chow down on a pint of ice cream the enigmatic owner would just pop into the building suddenly. Now...! He still might pop in suddenly, but she at least knew he'd mostly just ignore she existed and let her do her job.

Speaking of her job.

While crawling under the guest bed to catch the hidden dust and hair trapped underneath, unmistakable little paws dropped down on the small of her back, walked a step over to the swell of her hips, and then evidently lost their grip and slid off to the ground with a sudden thump.

"...Really, Elizabeth?" She turned her head, too trapped under the bed to move much more without risking getting stuck (she absolutely refused to add that to the list of things her boss caught her doing when he returned home). Fortunately, the cat was in view at the edge of the bed anyway, blue eyes blankly staring at her. As if offended she had a problem.

Or maybe just offended she wasn't there to play with last night. Who knew?

"It's not my job to play with you today. I'm not gonna take a break right when I got here. Your dad would _know_."

"I suppose I would."

She _screamed_.

Also, hit her head and nearly knocked the bed down on herself.

"Ow, ow, owww!"

With what seemed like surprising swiftness - but who knew, with how hard she'd just whacked her head - hands appeared at her waist and the elbow not under the bed. The man behind her pulled her out from under the bit of furniture and righted her quickly enough to leave her dizzy. Or, again, the possible concussion.

The face of her..._damn...employer..._scrunched up in concern for a few moments, as he brushed fingers through her hair, apparently searching for damage. Weirdly, she was pretty sure the fingers that he withdrew from the back of her head were redder than they should be.

"You're injured."

"No, no." She shook her head, which was a mistake. The whole room spun. "It's just..a placebo."

For a terrible moment, a wave of nausea crashed through her and she thought she'd vomit right on her employer.

Fortunately, she just headbutted his chest.

..

As it turned out, it was a very mild concussion. Which was, frankly, pretty reassuring. Knocking herself out and giving herself a mild concussion just from getting startled doing _absolutely nothing wrong _was enough. Getting anything worse was officially Too Much.

This job was well paying, but she had a growing suspicion it wasn't his finicky nature or cat that kept people away, but the peril that somehow came with the job.

That was probably just the concussion talking, though.

She thought for a full minute that the figure sitting primly in a chair near the bed was also a result of that, but apparently mild concussions didn't cause quite that level of hallucination, as the doctor eventually spoke to him.

"...Although it wasn't my intention, it seems I caused you injury." He spoke coolly, but there did seem to be a certain amount of penitence in his voice? Yeah. She was pretty sure that was the case. It wasn't a terrible sound.

Well, anyway, if they were saying it for the record, _she _caused her injury. But it sounded better his way. "Technically, it was the bed."

His lips quirked up into a barely there smile for a moment. "I'll press charges on it immediately."

Charges...

Wait...was he waiting here because he'd come home with some complaint...?

Was it that cat kidnapper?! Did Mina say something?

"This visit has been paid for. And of course, you'll get your full pay for however many days you need to stay home to recover as well." He stood, taking a step closer to the bed. "If there's anything else that you need, any follow-up visits, extended time off-"

"No." She shook her head - which made her slightly less dizzy this time. Good! Getting better already! "It's fine! It's honestly not the first time I've worked through a mild concussion, and most of the time I'm not doing anything strenuous anyway. I'd rather just get back to work. Uh...tomorrow, I guess..." Since a bout of unconsciousness ending up in a hospital bed probably drained all her working hours away.

His brows knit. "What?"

"It's fine, really!" She waved her hand. "Honestly, this is all my fault anyway. If I'd been paying more attention I wouldn't have been so startled. And that last weekend left me with more than enough to cover anything frivolous!" Although it did kill any vacation plans or saving up for penthouses..

"Besides, if anyone else does your house, they won't know how to take care of Elizabeth and she'll get lonely or start shedding, and my work will be just that much harder when I get back. And they probably won't be prepared for that weird friend of yours to try to sneak in and get her anyway, who knows how frazzled she'll be by then..."

Oh, she was still rambling. She could tell because the man just stood there staring at her with an expression that said something like 'oh no, my weird maid has brain damage and can't stop talking about my cat'. Or...okay, honestly, she couldn't read his expression at all, but it's what _she'd_ be thinking.

So she shut up.

He remained silent for a few moments, before giving a small nod. "If you're working, then the standards of your work will be the same regardless of any injury."

"Yes, sir!"

He hesitated a moment longer, before nodding and turning to leave. Evidently, now that there was no danger of her trying to sue him, he had no reason to linger. Which did make sense. Yes.

"...Wait."

He did. Huh.

"You were home really early, right? What was that about?"

He looked back at her, blinking in silence a moment, as if trying to comprehend her question. Finally, he said. "I had forgotten my watch."

Oh.

Alright then.

..

Walking back into work felt a little like walking into a battlefield.

Like the price she paid for the sweet paycheck wasn't the work itself, but the heavenly dice rolling each time she stepped inside, just to see if she got a good, normal day, or if something awful and painful would happen that would leave her sore for days over some stupid thing.

The supplies she'd brought in the day before were neatly arranged near the door. A folded piece of paper and a small box sat atop the largest piece of equipment. Likely a note from the owner.

One hand picked up the letter, while the other picked up the nondescript box. The box was a bit heavy. Which probably meant he left some kind of apology chocolate.

She had to give him credit. The man did _not _want to be sued.

Inside the letter read -

_My apologies for the mishap yesterday._

_I've been told it's best to provide a gift for this sort of apology._

_In the future, please be careful with furniture. _

"Says the king of jump scares."

She sighed, setting the letter on the key stand near the door, and flopped the box open.

Then nearly dropped it _right to the_ _ground_.

It was a charm bracelet in the shape of a diamond, with the face of Elizabeth the 3rd painted onto the charm. More importantly, though, the chunky bracelet and charm were solid gold. Or at least they looked that way when she opened it. And also felt like it when she finally plucked up the bravery to touch them.

"This...has _got _to be inappropriate."

She still pocketed it, though.

She wasn't insane.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: I'm honestly tempted to make this an RFA harem, because the idea of this sassy maid somehow netting the unsuspecting RFA in the long run is pretty funny.

* * *

**Queen's Favor**

_Chapter 8_

What this penthouse _really _needed was a sign she could check off days for how long it'd been without an accident or life threatening encounter.

She ought to have a prize, as this was the 30th day without incident.

Unsurprisingly, no such thing awaited her when she arrived at the penthouse. Aside from the one gift (which she kept at home most of the time, as it was much too valuable to wear at work), her enigmatic employer - contractor - left her nothing else but the odd bit of food and endless weird messes that made her wonder just what he got up to when she wasn't there. He did arrive from time to time when she worked, but as always he left her alone and merely gave her pleasant compliments or a stiff drink at the end of her shift.

The cat was troublesome as ever, but hadn't caused her any injury.

She leaned down to rub the cat under her chin, and then tossed some bell-toy further into the room. No longer nearly as starved for attention, the flowy white cat pranced off after the toy. After a bit of fussing, Elizabeth had gotten back into the habit of just expecting her in the mornings, not all day, and so the cat mostly only smothered her when she first arrived and whenever it was her break time.

Honestly, she didn't even need to keep a watch on her, because Elizabeth seemed to have that timing _down_, and wouldn't brook any kind of deviation. She'd never had to interrupt any of her work just to go play with the cat, but she had no doubt that Elizabeth would put her paw down about it if she ever tried.

The phone rang.

That in of itself wasn't particularly unusual. Although it seemed most of his contacts either knew his working hours or used whatever gold-encrusted cellphone he owned, there was always the odd whoever that called anyway. The strange thing about it was that after the first call went to whatever voicemail was attached to the phone, it started ringing again. Immediately. At first, she was a bit worried there was some urgent matter actually meant for her on the phone. But that was absurd, as she had her own phone on her - and she double-checked, it was fully powered and getting signal - and anyone _that _desperate to speak to her would get through to her phone somehow.

Ten minutes passed with it ringing, and it was getting on her last nerve. Only her immense sense of self control - and need for the sweet, sweet pay the job provided - kept her from ripping the phone right out of the wall and then possibly throwing it out of the window.

"He's _not here_, you needy stalker!"

She didn't pick up the phone and say that, obviously. But it did make her feel a little better saying it out loud.

Almost eerily, the phone stopped ringing.

Maybe it just took that long for whatever desperate caller that was to figure that out. Maybe she should let the penthouse owner know he had this obsessed caller? Just in case? Not that his security didn't seem tip-top as it was. Aside from the cat-napper, anyway. But apparently they were friends somehow.

She jumped and gave a short shriek when her phone rang in her pocket.

The number on the phone was unknown. Probably, it was just spam or something unrelated.

If nothing else, at least she had an excuse to chew out the caller without getting fired, if indeed it was related at all.

She frowned at the phone a moment, before finally accepting the call with a huff.

"_Man, you are way too good at resisting the urge to answer the phone call of_ _destiny!_" She couldn't immediately place the voice, but it...sounded way less creepy than she'd expect for a phone stalker.

"...Huh?"

"_Ninja maid! Your dulcet tones are always such a gift!_" Oh, it was him. Wait. _How _was it him?! "_I heard you were gravely injured as punishment for allowing my escape from yon castle, so I had to call you to show my appreciation, but then you just ignored all my calls! For so long! Are you just afraid of phones, is that why you ignored the phone call of destiny?"_

Wait.

Wait. Many questions all jumbled together at once.

"That's not what I-that's..how-how do you even know about that? How do you have my _number_?! Who _are you?_"

"_Oh, wow! My first interview~. I didn't come prepared._" Although his voice sounded as if his phone were on speaker on some desk or something, she didn't miss the teasing tone in it. "_Fortunately, I can answer all the questions at once! FOR YOU SEE! I am none other than the diabolical genius, world famous hacker 707! ...If you think about it, you'll see that answers all three questions."_

Yes, she understood how it applied to all the questions.

No, she didn't believe it at all. The scrawny little screaming nerd she'd twice tackled didn't have the right look to be a hacker, firstly, and secondly she couldn't imagine why a high profile heir to a giant corporation would associate with someone criminal. And another thing: even if he were a hacker, why would he fixate on harassing the maid?

He was definitely some kind of a stalker.

"I'm going to call the police and have them trace this call."

"_That's...sort of the spirit!_" He laughed on the other end of the line. "_Anyway. It's tragic, but...I've been trapped inside my house for a month, unable to go out and see Princess Elly! About now is when I'd normally go out to get a recharge by visiting her, but...alas! I'm going to be trapped even longer in here. That's why I need you-"_

"No."

"-_to be my hands!" _He didn't even miss a beat. "_You must send my affection to Elly through the phone!"_

_"_Absolutely not. I know the kind of things you do to her."

"_Don't put it like that, Ninja Maid! Our love is purer than that. If you could just snap a picture-"_

"I'm going to hang up now. If you call back, I'm turning it off this time."

"_NO WAIT-"_

Seriously, though? How in the world did he get her number? Had he stolen it somehow during one of their scuffles? Or did he trick the company into sharing it with him? He didn't seem all that wily or convincing to her, but then...maybe he could be a bit more charismatic to someone whose first interactions didn't involve him screaming bloody murder in their ears or sitting on their boss' bed in a cheap maid outfit.

She rubbed her forehead and flopped down on the couch. Her head still hurt from the crank calling, and that voice shouting in her ear didn't help the situation at all, either.

Elizabeth wandered into the room, tail flicking as if she, too, still had ringing in her ears. The little furball looked up at her for a moment, as if silently scolding her for daring to take her break early, before prancing over and hopping up onto her lap.

"Yeah. Didn't think you'd have a problem with it." She reached down to run her fingers along the cat's soft white fur, and the little monster bumped its head up against her hand, as if demanding more petting.

Honestly. It'd be kind of a bummer when she had to move on to another place to clean some day. The odd life-threatening situation and conniving cat wasn't actually all that bad of a compromise for having such luxurious breaks and so few really alarming messes. The owner wasn't home all that often even when he wasn't out of the country, and it showed. Both in the demanding cat, and in the lack of lived-in messes she encountered.

She scoffed to herself as the cat grabbed her hand in its paws and gnawed lightly at her fingertips. _Easy to say it's not that bad a compromise when it's been a month since any peril though, huh_?

"Alright, geez. If you're going to keep biting like that, I'll get you something to eat that _isn't _human."

She stretched, listening to the alarming musical starring her back and spine. She liked to think that all came from the hard work she put into the day, and not the torture rack that her bed had slowly been devolving into since it started running low on fluff and springs.

Well, it was fine. With what she made, she could really start saving for medical exams, a better bed, or even moving somewhere that looked less like an 'Escape from New York' movie. The evening air was cool on her skin as she walked, and she wondered idly if it might even be worth it to just go ahead and start using a car. The walk did take a while, and it meant getting up extra early in the mornings.

The streetlights flickered on above her, as the sun finally got low enough in the sky to upset them.

Actually, tomorrow was payday. She glanced down and grabbed frayed blonde locks in two fingers. Her hair could probably do with a good trim. She could look even more killer in her uniform with a good cut and style.

Someone shoved into her, nearly knocking her face-first into the pavement. She manged not to collide with the ground, but only by engaging in a rousing round of pinwheel hopscotch.

_It's not like I was just taking up all the space in the sidewalk!_

She rounded on her assailant, but the figure already moved away from her at a quick pace, hood up, obscuring their face in the evening shadows.

"_Hey-!_"

They - probably a he, given their relative height - didn't even hesitate or react to her calling out to them. Despite the two of them being the only ones in the street. Which was almost as rude as nearly knocking her over in the first place.

Naturally, she chased after him. Just to make sure he could get the earful he deserved.

He was surprisingly agile, as he took quick turns through multiple alleyways without any warning. Frankly, she was starting to worry that she might inadvertently be tailing someone to a drug deal. _If I see anyone shady popping up, I'll just..._

_..._Okay. So maybe she'd gotten a little too into giving some random jerk on the street an earful just for bumping into her. Now that she thought about it.

She blinked, looking back and forth on the street.

_Wait. Where did he go?_

She'd barely even gotten distracted at all, and yet the figure she'd put so much effort into following was just...gone. A few businesses stood nearby, metal gates locked down tight, and one or two houses that looked burned out and boarded up. There were no obvious entrances to any of them.

A short distance down the road stood a building she'd have considered tall before that penthouse spoiled her. Distant city lights reflected on the windows of hundreds of rooms, but not one of them were lit up, even in the increasing darkness of the evening.

"Weird." Businesses usually kept their lights on for security purposes, right? At least dim ones. She frowned and made her way closer to the building. A modest parking lot with various marked carports sat in front of it. Completely empty.

There weren't any obvious signs on the building indicating whether it was one big business, or if it was a mini mall of some sort that just hadn't successfully rented itself out to any local businesses. Well. All the same, the man likely disappeared in there. Somewhere.

She wasn't crazy enough to go investigating it, though.

...Instead, she just...needed to figure out how to find her way back home. And not chase after random people who made her angry on the street.

"...Ah."

Well. Crap. She had a pretty decent idea of what direction she came from, and she could probably make her way back to the main road. But it was also late, and a pretty shady part of town.

She frowned, and dug out her phone. Light flooded her vision as she turned it back on. "GPS..._please work_."


End file.
